you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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