The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
