MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
