And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
