just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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