Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
