forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
How external is "for external use only"?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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