id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
