Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
