No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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