We won't sleep together?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
