he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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