why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
