dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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