I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
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