tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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