Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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