We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
