i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
