can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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