dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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