Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
