did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think I died a long time ago.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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