While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
