I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
