you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
