it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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