Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
