There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
