They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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