Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
where am i from again
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
