my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dicks are not precious.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
