You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize