Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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