some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
