First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize