connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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