If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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