Can i not drive my cunt home
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
