drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
