I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
