youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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