Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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