I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
