I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize