so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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