I wish I only lived at night.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
