it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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