Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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