if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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