my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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