Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
