I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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