I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
