??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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