I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
