I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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