Cold hands, warm shart.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Sober January is a disaster.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize