It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
