Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
