I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
