Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
