you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
