You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize