Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
