i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
