I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
