R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The adults are the big ones right?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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