my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
