I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
